About the Artist & His Curator
The Poet
Barkolomew Twain is the World's Preeminent Canine Poet and the artist-in-residence at a small, carpeted home in a cosy corner of England.
To the casual observer, he is a simple rescue dog with a pensive gaze, floppy ears, a profound sigh, and a tail that thumps with metronomic uncertainty.
In reality, he is a staggering genius whose work explores the great themes of love, loss, the tyranny of vacuum cleaners, and the existential nature of the "Good Boy."
His primary literary influences include Coleridge, the Romantics, and a particularly interesting smell he once discovered on a discarded pizza box.
He is still trying to figure out how it is possible to obey the command "stay" when it's impossible to be motionless in an ever expanding universe whilst sitting on the surface of a planet that is constantly rotating.
Barkolomew undergoing an existential crisis because I have told him to "stay"
Scholarly Interests Include:
Culinary Arts
A lifelong connoisseur of fallen crumbs and the subtle art of the 'puppy dog eyes' technique for acquiring snacks.
Toy Deconstruction
The deconstruction of squeaky toys to their component parts, a field in which he holds an unofficial PhD.
Material Science
A profound and ongoing study into the structural integrity of forbidden shoes and the tensile strength of leashes.
Quantum Physics
Fighting a noble, lifelong, and ultimately losing battle against his own tail, which may or may not exist in multiple dimensions.
The Curator
JJ Roberts is a keeper of the verse, an inventor, writer, and a Master of Opening Tins.
His life's work took an unexpected and bewildering turn upon his discovery of Barkolomew's literary talents, a discovery made possible only by a peculiar device acquired from a shop that only sells things that don't exist.
His home is now a permanent exhibition of strange artifacts from this establishment, including a second-hand time machine (which is, for all practical purposes, a chair) and a perpetual motion machine for which he cannot find the 'off' switch.
His days are spent attempting to faithfully translate Barkolomew's profound verse while simultaneously preventing his enigmatic, migrating garden gnome from wandering into traffic.
He now spends most of his time on the curation of the Barkolomew Twain archive and the faithful documentation of the world's most profound and difficult artist as well as hoovering up a truly astonishing amount of fur.
JJ's reaction upon receiving this month's bacon bill.